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You Can And You Always Have A Choice

I can’t…

I have no choice…

There is no other way…

Folks, I am here to tell you that there is always another way. Even when things seem bleak, there is always another way.

The choice may not always look pretty or be popular. It may seem extreme. What you need to consider is how badly do you want the situation you are in now versus what you could work towards? Do you want to stay home, but can’t see any way to make that happen financially? Do you want a bigger house? Smaller house? Do you want to take a vacation? Buy a boat or RV?

Let me give you some examples of actual things people told me that either I or they could never do.

“You can’t buy a house for that price.”

When we were looking to buy a house, our goal was to get a house with at least 3 bedrooms, a main floor bathroom, garage and fenced in yard for under a certain amount. I don’t think there was a person that thought we could pull it off. Even our realtor said, “you will have no choice, but to spend more to find what you are looking for.” Long story short, we found a house that fit all of our requirements and was in move in condition the first weekend we looked. Our house isn’t perfect, but it sure meets our main and most basic requirements!

“You couldn’t possibly homeschool in that small house.”

Yes, someone said that to my face… in church. The fact of the matter is that we do homeschool in our small house, with a dedicated school area and it works well. We had to think outside of the box and brought in some very creative minds (our children’s friends) to help. A post on that coming soon!

“You can’t find a car for that price.”

We let a few trusted mechanic friends of ours know that we were on the hunt for a car and our price range. Within a few months we were the proud owners of a 1999 Cadillac Deville with about 250,000 miles on it. It is far from our first choice of car, but it is reliable and gets my husband from point A to B.

“Your house is too small for small group.”

Our perfectly imperfect and small house can often be a sore point when I let society’s opinions make me self conscious. I chose to overcome that by offering to host our small group. Sometimes we grab chairs from the kitchen and sometimes people sit on the floor. What really matters is that we are gathering for fellowship and being grateful for the house that is dry, warm and safe.

“You can’t live off of that salary”

This topic alone could be (and probably will be) an entire series, but in short – we don’t vacation like our friends, eat out like our friends, have the clothes or cars our friends have, we don’t see movies first run, have cable, fancy cell phones, nice landscaping, because we are supporting the goals that are right for our family. It’s not always fun or easy to be left out of dinners out or not take your kids to the latest Disney on Ice performance. It is those times that we have to “big picture” the situation. We may not do the things mentioned, but when we see a need and can do something small to help someone out- we are there and suddenly that new purse, performance or dinner don’t seem very important.

No matter what you are up against there is always a way out. Often times, it's hard to see a way out when looking at a situation you have looked at for years. There is always a way out of any situation. It may not be esy, but you can certainly do it.

Time for a change of mind.

Finance seems to be a topic that people feel defeated and stuck in. I have felt stuck and still struggle with nagging “I can’t” thoughts as well. But beating them, and finding another way is always an option. If you have some big and drastic results that you want to make in your life, make some big and drastic changes. Big change is never easy.You may need to downsize and live in an apartment for a few years in order to pay off student loans. You may be stuck as a one car family with toddlers or have to cut your cable or internet. Would that suck? Yeeeees. Would it be worth it? Absolutely. Be bold and do not fret about what others will think of you, don’t be afraid of hard things.

These solutions may seem drastic, and they may make your life harder for years. But if it takes you towards a dream that you have had for years but have never been able to take one step towards, isn’t it worth it? Real friends will still hang out with you in a way that you can. Remember, the ads on tv, the mommies at your playdates and your friends (as fabulous as they are) are not funding your future.

If you have something that you feel stuck in, I am here to tell you… there is always a way.

Do you have a creative solution to a situation you thought was impossible? I would LOVE to hear about it in the comments below! I am always up for a way around, over or through a wall that is blocking you.


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8 Responses to You Can And You Always Have A Choice

  1. Great article, Nikol. Everyone has priorities. And in my opinion, you spend what is important to you. Well done.
    Leigh Powell Hines recently posted…Quick and Easy Spinach Bleu Cheese Dip with a Better for You TwistMy Profile

  2. Thank you so much Leigh. It makes me so sad when someone looks defeated and says, “I can’t.” It simply motivates me when someone tells me “I can’t.” 😉
    Nikol Murphy recently posted…You Can And You Always Have A ChoiceMy Profile

  3. allison at #

    Yes!! As you know well, I am a “solutionist.” I couldn’t agree more!!
    allison recently posted…On Epic FailsMy Profile

    • I like the term solutionist! Yes you are and I love you for it. 🙂

  4. Jennifer Wood at #

    My dad always told me can’t is a four letter word – great post.

    • Thank you Jennifer, I may use that one with my boys!
      They are starting to learn that saying “I can’t” results in a complete halt of what we are doing until we work together to beat the obstacle ahead of us.

  5. Well done. Yes, you CAN! Every family has their priorities and situations. Judgements should not be made either way.

    • I agree Tina,
      Sometimes it isn’t even a judgement meant in malice. We have been conditioned to think we “need” certain things and it truly throws people for a loop and they honestly think they have no other way. It scares me to see people thinking like that.

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