Have you heard of The 5 Love Languages? They include Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. Why is it important to know your Love Language and your husband’s? Once you know what makes them feel loved then you can show them love in a way that is perfect for them!
Years ago I found out that my Love Language was Quality Time. I realized then why I always put so much emphasis on Date Night! Honestly, my husband only knows that Date Night is important because I have made SURE he knows it’s important to me.
Since our son was born 7 years ago I have made it a priority. Every week, no matter what, we took a Date Night.
When our children were newborns there was no way I was leaving the house without them, mostly because they were literally attached to me every half hour or so.Date Night In!
After I woke up from the 1-month comma, you know that first month of survival mode with a newborn when all you can do is sleep when the baby sleeps… Yup, once I felt I could actually enjoy a meal we started to have Date Nights In! They were glorious. My husband would get a bottle of wine and make some of my favorite meals. Sometimes we would rent a movie but mostly we’d sit and talk. It has always been the time in our relationship that we shared the most with each other. We would talk about our fears as parents, our dreams and plans for the future, our difficulties at the moment. Sometimes we’d only get half an hour before the baby would start crying. Sometimes Dave would hold the baby while he cooked, just to give me a break from doing the same thing all week. Sometimes we would just stare at our baby asleep in the bassinet while we tried to quietly eat. It was dedicated time to us. No phones. No distractions. It was everything I needed to reconnect with him.
As our children got older we still kept Date Night In. It was a great way to save money. We always have dinner as a family, but on that night, we’d feed the kids first, put them to bed early, and then start our Date Night with appetizers and a bottle of wine. The appetizer time allowed for the never-ending bed time struggles– “I need to go potty!” “I’m thirsty!” “Can you tuck me in?!” “I can’t find______ (stuffed animal)”. Once we were sure they were actually asleep we’d make dinner and sit down with each other. Because my Love Language is Quality Time I needed this. I needed him to show me that he wanted to spend time with me. Just me.Date Night Out!
As the kids got older we began to venture out. We started to try new restaurants but mostly just found our favorites. Our weekly Date Nights became sacred. We never made plans that would interrupt, turning down dinners and plans with friends so we could have this time for just us. It has been the single best decision we have ever made in our marriage. Date Night keeps our communication open. It keeps our hopes and dreams alive. It keeps us connected with each other that sometimes gets lost during the busy week. It keeps us grounded. It fosters the love we have for each other.
Do you know what your Love Language is? Take the quiz at 5LoveLanguages.com. Maybe Date Night isn’t what your marriage needs. Maybe little sticky notes around the house or cute texts throughout the day will keep your marriage going strong. Find out what your husband’s Love Language is and further grow the beautiful relationship you already have!
What has helped you connect with your spouse? Share your experience and tips in the comments below! I would love to read them.