There are two kinds of mirrors: the ones that make you look awesome and the ones that should be in a Fun House!
Have you ever walked by a mirror and thought, “I cannot really look like that!”?
Just as I have walked past mirrors that I wondered if I walked into a Fun House, I have come across mirrors that I’m pretty sure are lying about how wonderful I look (and these every retail store should invest it!).
I have a mirror in my room that I plan on NEVER getting rid of. I think the lighting, distance I stand from it, and the mirror all make for the perfect reflection of myself. I will get up, get dressed, and look over and think, “Wow, I look great today!”… and then I look in the very well lit bathroom mirrors… You get the point.
So, what does this have to do with friendship? I’m sure you’ve probably come up with your own simile; mine is pretty simple: That mirror I love is like a great friendship.
When I am with a really great friend, I only see how wonderful I am. I only see and feel great about myself. I don’t mean that they sit there and constantly compliment me about how perfect and beautiful I am (because obviously I am, JK!!!), actually quite the opposite. They just seem to bring the best out in me and allow me to be the genuine person I am. I don’t have to choose my words carefully because they know what I mean, even if I didn’t say it perfectly. After I leave visiting that friend I feel better about myself; I feel renewed.
When I am with a toxic friend (remember these from Oprah?) I feel like that terrible Fun House mirror. All distorted, fake, like anything I say will be taken the wrong way.
Do you have one of these?
Or two or too many to count?
These toxic friends not only make me feel uncomfortable (because I know I’m not really like that!) but they leave me feeling exhausted. They sucked any good energy out of me because I had to work so hard just to have a normal conversation with them!
Growing up I only had a few very good friends. As an adult I didn’t realize how hard it would be to find good friends. It is such a running problem for many adult women that they even had sessions about the subject at the FPEA Homeschool Convention! It was so relieving to hear that so many women have the same problem. It was even more relieving to hear that they had tips on how to handle it.
What did I learn?
- Have a conversation with your friends about what your definition of friendship is.
- Make a pact. I know, it sounds silly, but agree about what is expected in the friendship.
- Agree to disagree and confront the other when your feelings get hurt. Forgive.
- Trust, Honesty, and Grace
Not every friend is going to be a great friend or a toxic friend, but it’s important to surround yourself with those amazing friends that make you feel wonderful. It is just as important to limit your time, if not totally remove yourself, from those toxic friends. All that negative energy needs to be used for positive, fun, rewarding experiences!